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Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Quotes from the Couch

Around our household, witty words abound.  What can we say - we're both writers.  And we're both odd ducks. And we both think we're hilarious.  And we're probably not as funny as we think we are.  We keep a quote book to record these witty moments.  Since today's BufBloPoFo topic is to brag about something that isn't a huge life event, and since my husband just said something hilarious, I guess I am bragging about our accidental wit.  So, here are some great quotes from the Mahoney household.

Bryan, to Marcy:  "You're more fun than cardboard."

"It couldn't even read!  And it was a SPECIAL car!"  - Marcy, RE: Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

Bryan, playing video games:  "We're getting our asses handed to us on a plate.  On a platter.  On a royal platter!  On a silver platter!"

Bryan:  "Now, do you suppose all those ships are on a slave circuit?  Because they wouldn't all be able to go into hyperspace at the same time like that."
Marcy:  "I'm trying to decide who's the bigger dork; you for asking that question, or me for understanding it."

"That place always smelled like poop, halitosis, and salisbury steak."  - Marcy  RE: Nursing Home

Marcy:  "I will kick'em in the nuts."
Bryan:  "What if they're all girls?"
Marcy:  "Then I'll kick'em in the she-nuts."
Bryan:  "Where are their she-nuts?
Marcy:  "If you're a she you know where your nuts is."

Marcy:  "Get the quote book ready - cuz I'm a drunkin'!"

Bryan, to Marcy:  "Are you fresh off the cute truck?"

"Holy crap!  C3PO answered the phone!!!"  - Bryan, on the phone with the Boston Museum of Science

Marcy, to Bryan:  "Why you gotta be a poop and stink like that?"

Bryan, after he sneezes:  "Aough! Gross!  What is that - chicken?"

Marcy:   "Wouldn't you just love to, like, hear the elves of Lothlorien throw down the shizzle?"

Bryan:  "WOW!  That was manly!  That burp had hair on it!"

Marcy:  "I got caught in a downpour and now I'm drenched!
Bryan:  "Is my grill okay?"

Marcy, to Bryan:  "Pull up your pants while you make dinner."  (pause)  "You know, I shouldn't have to tell you that."

Bryan:  "Guinness does everything!  It does my math homework for me!"

Marcy, to Bryan:  "Oh God!  Your breath smells DEAD!  It smells like poop cheese!"

Bryan:  "We're just two geeks trying to make our way in the world."

1 comment:

Jennifer Eolin is The New Old Biddy said...

POOP CHEESE!?! BUWHAHAHAHA!

Love it - love the quotes!!