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Friday, March 13, 2009


See this?

It's DOG CRAP. I went for a walk on the Minuteman Bike Path yesterday, which was littered - and I mean steaming piles strewn everywhere - with dog crap. THANK YOU, person whose dog's anus is responsible for destroying my Nikes. There is no way to get the smell out, either. I walked through every remaining snow bank I could find trying to clean off the shoe, scraped it on rocks and tree roots, but to no avail. I live in an apartment, don't have a hose, and I'm not throwing my shoes into the same washer that cleans my clothes. So how do I clean your rancid dog droppings from my shoes, then? And why should it be on my shoe in the first place? If I wanted to have dog crap in my life, I would get an effing dog.

If you consider yourself fit and able to be a dog owner, then you are fit and able enough to pick up after your animal. For crap's sake, people! How can you think that is acceptable? Part of being a dog owner is knowing that you have to clean up their turds, just like part of being a cat owner is knowing that you have to provide them with a litterbox. I do my part. DO your effing part! I'm tempted to sit in my window with a potato launcher and snipe cat turds from my litterbox at people on the bike path who I see offending the "pick up after your dog" rule. Yeah - it's a rule! See?

What? No mutt mitts left? Too effing bad! It's no excuse. Your dog is going to crap on this walk, so bring a backup baggie. Dog ownership 101. It is not the town's responsibility to clean up your dog's steaming loafs - it's your responsibility. Yeah - it's gross to pick up crap with nothing between your hand and the turd but a thin sheet of plastic, but you signed up for that when you decided to get a dog. So pick up the turd and shut up. It's beyond rude and gross to leave your dog crap in a public place! And it's a health hazard. Check out this shot - three steaming piles, less than five feet apart - all in the middle of the path.

So this post is just a friendly reminder to all you dog owners on the Minuteman bike path, since spring is coming and all, to clean up after your dog, or prepare to duck as airborne cat poop is potato-launched your way. Consider yourself warned.

1 comment:

Kelly said...

I am laughing out loud at this entry! I love how you took time to snap shots of the poop, the poop shoes and the poop mitts. I really like the idea of 'cat'a pult turds onto the bike path. :)