Marcy's Gross & Gory Bedtime Stories Vol. 1 Illustration by Ryan Williamson What's that slithering up the stairs? With fleshy jowls and fat tufts of hairs? It's wheezing and breathing and gasping for air ... And dark beady eyes hold a ravenous stare. It sneaks in the dark, up into your rooms. With a shadow so huge it practiaclly looms. It's smacking its lips in loud hungry booms. It's a creature so gross, it's known as The Gooms. It's chubby and flubby and dripping with cheese. It's rude and moody and won't even say please. It's hairy and scary and covered in fleas. Its overgrown thighs hide its knobby old knees. The Gooms will gobble up all of your snacks. Your roast beef sammiches and your Big Macs. The cookies and puddings in your backpacks. And all the foods that cause heart attacks. It wants your cupcakes and candy and pie. It's diabetic and can't see from one eye. The Gooms will eat all of your golden french fries. It eats and it eats and it never will die. It slurps up spagetti, it munches on snails. There's ketchup under its fingernails. It will leave you starving and thin as a rail. It will even raid your garbage pail! There's no way to stop it, so flee from its path. To try to fight it will bring down its wrath. It will burp on you and make you do math And you'll be snackless in the aftermath. So be warned, young children, stay out of its way! You're only safe in the light of day! When bedtime comes, put your snacks away. Or The Gooms will have the final say.